Wow look!

So Katie also decided to cook Thai green veggie curry too, and didn't she make a great job of it? She says it was really yummy and she enjoyed making it - proper cooking apparently :)

I am so delighted that the recipe worked for her and the effort was worth it.

Thai Green Veggie curry

Serves 2

Around 600g of frozen mixed vegetables

1 lime

1 tin coconut milk

2 cloves of garlic, peeled

1 small piece of fresh ginger about the size of your thumb.

1 onion, peeled

1.5 tsp Thai Spice Mix (in the Spice aisle, made by Schwartz)

1 supermarket pack of fresh coriander

1 supermarket pack of fresh mint

2 tbs light soy sauce

White rice – value is fine

This is a simple version of my usual recipe and will teach you a bit about making a spice paste and how to cook rice.

Making a paste without a food processor or pestle and mortar is slightly tricky but this comes pretty close. Fresh herbs are essential here though, Thai curries sing with fresh herb and citrus flavours so don't even think about using dried. Soy sauce comes in two types – light and dark. Ideally you want light soy sauce for this. Light is for flavour, dark is for colour. But if you can only get dark, use that.

Vegetarian dishes are good when the pennies are a bit tight. The very cheapest way is to use a pack of frozen mixed vegetables or buy fresh from a local market if there is one. Otherwise haunt the produce section of the supermarket and scoop up any 'Whoops!' (have a banana!) or 'reduced to clear' bargains. Technically you could make this with just a single vegetable, although I wouldn't really recommend it. However if that's all you can afford then so be it. It would work ok with cauliflower. I'd try to avoid using just sweetcorn though, the plumbing may not withstand it.

Make the paste:

You need the grater for this. For quite a lot of grating. Use the big holes for the onion, finer ones for everything else.

Halve the onion then grate it to a slush, tip the slush into a bowl.

Peel the garlic and grate into the bowl. There's really no need to peel the ginger, despite what lots of recipe books say, just cut off the dry ends and grate it straight into the bowl.

Add the grated zest of the lime and then squeeze in as much juice as you can, it helps if you stick a fork into the lime as you squeeze.

Add the soy sauce and a pinch of salt.

Add 1.5 tsp of the spice mix – anyone else doing this can add more if you like it quite spicy.

Remove the leafy bit of the coriander from the stalks and chop the stalks as finely as you can. Add the chopped stalks to the bowl.

Pick off the mint leaves, finely chop and add to the bowl and throw the stalks away.

Stir everything together until it is well mixed. If you have a rolling pin, or a mug, or a beer bottle or - well you get the idea - using the end to give everything a really good bash about in the bowl wouldn't hurt at this point.

Cook the rice:

White rice is almost always cooked 2:1 so 2 measures of water to 1 of rice. But small amounts of rice are a bit tricky and leftover rice freezes well plus it's as easy to cook a whole mugful as half. So I'd recommend cooking a whole mug of rice in two mugs of water then freeze any leftovers as soon as the rice is cool**. On zero money days a bowl of forgotten rice from the freezer reheated with some butter with a couple of fried eggs on top can feel like a nutritional hug.

Boil the kettle. Put the pan on the heat. Measure the rice first then the boiling water into a pan add a teaspoon of salt, a knob of butter and bring everything up to the boil. Stir once then reduce the heat to the lowest possible, clap a lid on the pan and leave for about ten minutes. After ten mins take a look. If the water has mostly disappeared and there are little craters/holes all over the rice, put the lid back on, turn off the heat and leave it alone. No craters... check again after another minute or so until the craters appear then put the lid back on, turn off the heat and leave it alone. It may take up to another 5 minutes depending on how fast the pan is simmering. It will now sit happily at the back of the cooker until the curry is ready.

Make the curry:

Open the tin of coconut milk and tip the contents into your widest, shallowest pan. You may have to scrape off any coconut cream clinging to the lid and sides of the tin but just and stir it in, it will melt as the liquid heats up. Bring it up to the boil and then cook briskly for five minutes to reduce it a little.

Stir in all of the spice paste and add the vegetables. Bring back to the boil then simmer and stir regularly until the veg is tender when poked with a sharp with a knife.

Serve:

Put some rice on the plate, spoon some veggie curry next to it and scatter the reserved coriander leaves over the top. This sauce is quite thin, if you prefer a thicker sauce you can grate in half a block of creamed coconut to thicken it up.

**This is very important. You must freeze any uneaten rice as soon as it is cool enough to go in the freezer. Leftover cooked rice that isn't stored properly will give you food poisoning. See here.

For a non-student version please email me for instructions at our sparkly new email address: twonerdsonescone@gmail.com

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Many thanks to Joanna for being my guest cook today :)

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J: Going to start making the recipe now! I'll let you know if I need any help :)

'Good luck xx *excited* and nervous if I'm honest - hope t works ok...'

J: Going ok so far. Do I use the whole bag of coriander/mint?

'Up to you. I always do.'

J: Okay paste done. Not sure if I chopped the coriander and mint quite fine enough

'That looks absolutely fine.'

'Without a blender or pestle and mortar the texture will always be different. Not worse, just different. The flavour will be fine though :)'

J: And here is the final product

J: Tastes great!

'Wheee!! Well done and huzzah that it tastes good too :) Thank you chick, I really appreciate it xx'

J: No problem. It was fun to make :)

A Big Thank You to Katie

The first student recipe tester who isn't related to me. Thanks so much for trying the fish pie Katie, I hope you enjoyed it. Apparently Katie used salmon instead of tuna and thought the recipe was easy to follow.

Phew. Thats a relief.

And look how well it came out too:

Genuinely thrilled to bits :)

Pancakes, Bacon and the Best Scrambled Eggs In World ™

Ooh look! A special weekend bonus recipe for you to try. These pancakes are really quick and easy to make and you can freeze any spare ones to have another day. Just zap them for a few seconds in the microwave. What isn't negotiable is topping them with butter after you've cooked them. It is the law.

You can use plain flour and baking powder as I have done here or replace these with self-raising flour if you have some. This is the smallest amount you can make because you can't really get smaller than one egg and it should make four good sized pancakes. However if you want to make more it is easy to double or triple the recipe.

First thing is to grill some bacon until it is crispy then turn off the grill, put the bacon on a plate and put this plate in the grill space to keep warm. Close the grill to keep the heat in.

So for the pancakes you need:

1/2 a mug of plain flour
1.5 tsp baking powder
pinch of salt
1 tsp sugar
a knob of butter, melted (in the microwave)
1 egg, beaten
150ml milk

Whisk the dry ingredients together.

Whisk the wet ingredients together.

Whisk the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients.

Heat a little oil in a frying pan over a low to medium heat.

Dollop large spoonfuls of the mixture into the pan. You will probably have to cook them two at a time.

Bubbles will appear on the top of the pancakes as they cook. When the bubbles have mostly all burst, flip the pancakes over and cook the other side for another couple of seconds then put them on the warm plate in the grill space.

For the scrambled eggs you will need:

2 eggs
splash of milk - or cream if you have some
large knob of butter

Whisk the eggs and milk together and put into a non-stick pan. Drop in the knob of butter.

So the secret to the best scrambled eggs in the world ™is very low heat and patience. Put the pan over the lowest heat possible and use a silicone spatula to stir. Initially nothing much will happen so you just need to stir occasionally but after several minutes the eggs will suddenly start to set on the bottom of the pan. Use the spatula to scrape the cooked eggs up, but do this gently because you want big soft pieces. This bit doesn't take very long, so you can't walk away at this point. If you do you will end up with an egg frisbee. Keep scraping and stirring gently until the eggs are cooked to your liking then tip them onto the plate with the pancakes and bacon.

Eat. Preferably in front of your jealous flatmates. I have to make do with the dog and cats. But they are definitely jealous.

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H: Should I fry the bacon first or after the pancakes since I'm not using a grill?

'I'd do the bacon first because it will take longer to cook. When it's done stick it on a plate and cover with something - upturned bowl? Another plate? Something like that x

'If you have any tin foil that works.'

H: Do I need oil to fry bacon?

'A little bit - like a teaspoon will get things going but you can do it without if you put the bacon in a cold pan and then heat it. It's up to you x'

H: K!

H: Can I whisk with a fork or should I borrow an actual whisk?

'Ok you have to remind me what you are whisking - it's been a while since I wrote the destructions'

H: Destructions he he he. I'm whisking the batter.

'Oh it should be fine with a fork. Just beat the shit out of it.'

H: Okay!

'Don't forget to photograph stuff xxx'

H: oh yeah! Ok

H: Do I need to whisk the dry and wet ingredients separately first? 'Cause I only have the one mixing bowl...'

'You can do it in one. The previous whisk rules apply though.'

H: Wooo...

'Oh my WORD! That's a PANCAKE right there...'

H: Eggs next!

H: Do I use my frying pan or one of my other pans?

'Are the other pans non-stick?'

H: I believe so

'Then any of those would be fine'

H: Can I use my wooden spoon cause I don't have a silicone spatula?

'Yes of course. I put wooden spoon first but thought you had a silicone thing instead...'

H: Nah that was Tanya's haha!

'Well that looks the business. Well done chick xxx'

Corned Beef and Potato Hash with Speedy Dumplings

Corned Beef and Potato Hash with Speedy Dumplings

This is a quick, comforting, easy thing to make. The basic recipe is fine if you are really strapped for cash but there's a lot you can do to it to make it more interesting. You could add a handful of red lentils or a tin of baked beans, chopped chillies, peppers, mushrooms, peas, corn... pretty much anything you like. You can add tinned tomatoes and top up with water, or slosh in some wine if there's any leftover (yes, I know, me neither) and if you are really really poor you can use just water and chopped up cheapo frankfurter sausages. Or water and a squirt of ketchup/HP/Lea and Perrins. If you are feeding a crowd you can double or triple the amount of potatoes, onions carrots etc. and still get away with using just one tin of corned beef. I know this because that's how I fed six of us when you were little.

The dumplings are super quick and easy to make. You can add chopped fresh herbs or grated cheese if you fancy too.

So for the basic recipe for two people you will need:

6 potatoes about the size of a small fist

1 medium onion

1 large carrot

1 tin of corned beef

1 stock cube

1 level tbs of dried mixed herbs

For the dumplings you need:

100g self raising flour

50g cold butter

Large pinch of salt

You can also use the type of hard margarine which is wrapped like butter. Either way you need to stick the marg/butter in the freezer for about half an hour so that it is nice and hard. Then use the large holes on your grater to grate 50g into the flour.

Make the hash:

Peel and chop the potatoes like you did for the mash we did last week. Put them into your largest saucepan.

Peel the carrot and slice or chop into small pieces, add to the pan.

Peel the onion, cut in half and chop into smallish pieces, add to the pan.

Crumble in the stock cube and sprinkle in the dried mixed herbs.

Add enough water to almost come to the top of the vegetables.

Cover with a lid, bring the pan up to the boil and then turn the heat right down and cook until the potatoes are really soft and beginning to fall apart.

Open the tin of corned beef. This is a very dangerous thing to negotiate actually. I recommend that once you have wound the key around the base and prised up the 'lid' you scoop the corned beef out with a spoon. But be really really REALLY careful when you are doing it and keep the lid bit to the side away from you. An awful lot of people end up in A&E every year due to corned beef tin-based injuries. Just go slowly and take care.

Stir the beef into the vegetables then put the lid back on the pan and allow everything to sit and soften while you make the dumplings.

Put the flour and grated marg/butter into a bowl along with a good pinch of salt. Then use an ordinary knife to stir the fat and flour together, chopping a bit as you go until everything is evenly mixed then pour over about 90ml of cold water. Still using the knife, stir vigorously for a few seconds until you have a rough ball of dough. Gather it together with your hands and squish it about in the bowl until most of the flour has been picked up. Divide the dough into four equal pieces and plop them into a pyrex dish. Preferably one that's at least 5cm deep. Add 2 tbs of water, cover the dish with a lid or cling film. If you use cling film poke a couple of holes in the film. Microwave on HIGH for two and a half minutes.

Use the fabulous bear paw gloves to remove the dish from the microwave and carefully peel back the cling film.

Serve the dumplings alongside your potato hash and add anything else you like to go with it. It's traditional up here in t'North to have pickled red cabbage but you can add ketchup if you really really must.

If it's just you eating then the leftovers will freeze, but defrost thoroughly before reheating in the microwave.

And you could have the leftover dumplings in a sandwich for lunch tomorrow (family joke).

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'I will shop and cook today'

Excellent. Don't forget to photograph everything - even the bus :D

'Noo that'll make me look silly. I'll try the campus shop first and if I need to I'll catch the bus'

That sounds like a plan.

'Also I have lots of regular flour, should just try and get some baking powder?'

Yes that's fine - just add half a teaspoon to every 100g of flour and mix thoroughly. Any herbs?

'Yep'

'But no mixed ones'

Thyme?

'No thyme'

Sigh. Not to worry. You can do it without.

"Oh wait!! Hold on, there's these:

Right, perfect. Either of those will do fine.

'Is this carrot even edible?'

It should be ok if you peel it well and cut off any manky bits.

'Yaay! All peeled...'

Well that looks about right

'Like a Hell broth, boil and bubble...'

'Just about to do the corned beef but I can't turn the key!'

Ok, don't panic. Are you turning to the right way?

'Yep. Just can't get it to move'

Get a normal kitchen knife and stick it through the hole in the key. Use the knife as a lever.

'Ok that worked.'

'Yeaaaaaaaah!'

Haha! You might want to chop it up a bit...

'I already am. Do I turn the heat off or leave it to simmer?'

Turn it off. The meat is cooked just needs to warm through. It will melt into the hot stock if you chop it small enough.

'Ok how much is 100g of flour?'

Umm about five heaped tablespoons. 50g of butter is about a 2cm slice off a block. Just grate 2cm straight into the flour.

'Do I need more flour?'

Uh yes. Quite a bit more looking at that. It needs to feel like sticky bread dough. Did you melt the butter???

'No, it's just really warm in the kitchen. Ok I've added enough flour so it's like bread dough.'

Did you remember to add the baking powder?

'Oh crap. I'll mix it in now. It'll be ok won't it?'

Uhm ................

'They're the hip new half-risen dumplings'

'They taste really nice though!'

 I'd forgotten you don't have any weighing scales. Something to put on the list when you go to Asda, you can get some for about a fiver. 

'I'll re-do the dumplings and photograph everything when I serve it tomorrow'

Ok :) I'll work out a way of measuring the flour and butter without scales. And maybe get some self-raising flour?

*Mutters* Hip new half-risen dumplings...

[triumphant photograph of finished dish and delicious fluffy dumplings to go here at some point today]

Tuna Fish Pie

Tuna Fish Pie

Makes 2 servings

1 tin of tuna

4 baking potatoes

25g margarine

25g plain flour

375ml milk

100g grated cheese

1 bag of spinach

Frozen peas (optional)

This recipe uses tinned tuna because you are a poor, penniless student. An even poorer more penniless student could use tinned sardines instead but I know you won't go near them. When you are no longer poor or penniless you can use any poached fish you fancy.

Today you will learn how to make a thick cheese sauce base for the pie and how to make really good mashed potato.

First make the cheese sauce.

You will need:

25g margarine or butter

25g plain flour

375ml milk

100g grated cheese

Put the margarine or butter, milk and flour into a microwaveable casserole dish ie Pyrex. Use a whisk to blend everything together as best as you can. It will look a bit weird at this point and the margarine will just float around in a lump. Worry not.

Cook in the microwave on high for 1 minute.

Whisk like crazy for a few seconds then put back in the microwave for another minute. Repeat the whisking/1 minute microwaving until the sauce is smooth and thick. It shouldn't take more than three or four minutes.

Once it's done stir in three quarters of the grated cheese and leave to cool.

Make the mashed potato:

Peel the potatoes and cut into even sized 4cm-ish chunks. Put into your largest pan and add enough cold water until the potato chunks are just covered. Cover the pan with a lid and bring to the boil, add a pinch of salt then lower the heat slightly and let the potatoes cook until they are really soft when you poke them with the tip of a sharp knife. This is really important and may take up to 20 minutes. If you don't cook the potatoes for long enough your mash will be lumpy.

As soon as the potatoes are tender either tip everything into a colander to drain off the water or use the pan lid to hold the potates back in the pan while you carefully pour off the remaining water. Put the cooked potatoes back in the pan and half cover with the lid and let them to steam for a couple of minutes.

Now use a potato masher or a fork to mash the potatoes until you have a nice smooth purée. Add a knob of margarine or butter and a splash of milk and cover the pan again with the lid. After a couple of minutes the marg/butter will have melted and the milk warmed a little so then you need to use a wooden spoon to mix everything in. Once everything is well mixed you must really beat the mashed potato hard with the wooden spoon. This is what makes your mash really really good instead of just ok.

Cook the spinach:

Stab the bag of spinach a couple of times with a sharp knife. Place the bag in the microwave and zap for 1 minute on high.

Open the tin of tuna:

…. ok. You can do that without detailed instructions. Make sure you drain off any liquid in the tin though.

Assemble the pie:

Carefully open the bag of spinach (it will be quite hot) and dump the contents onto the top of your cheese sauce. Using kitchen scissors, snip the spinach into smaller pieces then stir it into the sauce along with the contents of the tin of tuna. If you aren't a pea-hating lunatic *stern look to camera* you can also add a couple of handfuls of frozen peas at this stage. Level the surface of the tuna mixture with the back of the spoon.

Now carefully spoon over the mashed potatoes - I always put spoonfuls all around the outside first before putting some in the middle. Then gently blend the potato together until it covers all of the tuna mixture, making sure you take it all the way to the edges of the dish to seal everything in.

Sprinkle over the remaining grated cheese and dot with a few bits of margarine or butter.

Put the casserole dish on a baking tray and bake in a moderate oven 180c/gas mark 4 until the cheese top is golden brown and it's just beginning to bubble here and there at the edges. Remove from the oven and leave it to stand for 10 minutes before serving.

This is nice with extra vegetables but as it has spinach in it, I will let you off.

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H: Does it need to be cheddar because I still have loads of red leicester

'Nope it can be any cheese you like'

H: Not sure if this will send but I am in the student shop

'Ooh not a big choice... Any salad leaves? They can sub for spinach.'

'Perfect'

H: I have no weighing scales...

'Right. Flour and marg - a heaped dessert spoonful. Cheese - about 6cm square from the block, but not hugely important - just use as much as you like to make it taste right x'

H: Okay!

H: Should I use actual butter or spread?

'Entirely up to you. Butter tastes nicer though :) if you have some'

H: I do!

'Huzzah!'

.

.

.

.

.

'It's all gone awfully quiet....'

H: I got distracted then started peeling the potatoes

'No probs, was worried it had all gone to rats'

H: Ahaha nah

.

.

.

.

H: Do I cook my baby leaves?

'You can just stir them into the tuna/cheese sauce. There's not many of them and they aren't in a bag so a bit too complicated to instruct on the hoof :) '

'They will wilt when the sauce heats up'

H: Okay

.

.

.

.

'Quiet...'

'Photos are good if you have nothing to say'

H: I am crushing small innocent potatoes with my mighty fists

'Totally laughing like an idiot'

H: Also you should see my oven mitts....

H: They are BEAR PAWS

'I am in AWE'

'Jealous much?'

'In fact I think I might say I am in PAW (on the blog) - geddit? #wackawacka'

H: Ehehehe 

(I sense a little ennui re my humour here..)

'Oh. My. Word. And does it taste ok?'

H: It's still in the oven!

'Ahhh ok - bring on the final final photo... It looks good though :) '

H: I can't wait.

H: Pie pie pie

H: It's great!

'Photos??!!'

.

.

H: I ate it already and put it in the fridge...

'Fail'

'Photo of the fridge?'

H: Ahaha fiine I'll go back to the kitchen

*head* *desk*

'People will be leaving. In droves. Having just found us. No pressure darling. No, really '

.

.

.

Well I think that worked quite splendidly.

Well done that girl :)

Well done x

Meatballs

Ok so today we are going to make meatballs in a tomato sauce. You will have to get your hands dirty but it's actually quite enjoyable.

You will need:

250g mince

1 tin of chopped tomatoes

1 onion

1 lemon

1 egg

2 slices of bread, crusts removed

1 pack of parsley**

4 tbs of grated parmesan cheese

The first thing is to wash your hands and then make the tomato sauce.

Peel the onion and cut in half. Chop one half into small pieces. Take all the leafy bits off the parsley and chop the stalks really finely. Put the leafy bits to one side for now.

Heat a little bit of oil in a pan over a medium heat and add the chopped onion. Stir and fry until it is golden brown. Add the tin of tomatoes and the parsley. Half fill the empty tomato tin with water and add this to the pan. If you have some tomato ketchup add a good squirt. Bring everything up to the boil then turn the heat to low and leave the sauce to gently pootle away in the background.

Put the bread into a small bowl and pour over a little milk. You want the bread to be wet but not swamped. Wait for a couple of minutes then squeeze out the milk, crumble the soggy bread up and put it into a roomy bowl along with the mince.

Grate the other half of the onion on the large holes of a cheese grater and add the mush to the mince in the bowl.

Chop the leafy parsley bits and add to the bowl along with the grated parmesan, the finely grated the zest of the lemon (use the smallest holes on the cheese grater) and then break in the egg.

Now get your hands in the bowl and give everything a really good squelching - you want to mix all the ingredients together as evenly as possible.

Once that's done, wet your hands under the tap then take small lumps of the meat mixture and roll into a nice ball. Try and do this with a light touch, because if you squash them too enthusiastically the end result can be a bit bouncy. As each meatball is made drop it into the pan of tomato sauce.

When all the meatballs are in, give the pan a bit of a shake to move things around. This is better than stirring because the balls are a bit delicate at first and battering them about with a spoon will undo all that hard work. Make sure the sauce is simmering and then cover the pan as they cook - just shake it occasionally to make sure nothing sticks to the bottom. They will take about 20 minutes.

Serve them with some rice and sprinkle over extra cheese if you like :)

**if you can't get fresh parsley use 1tsp of any dried herb you have in the meatball mixture and also in the tomato sauce. Dried mixed herbs are nice and cheap and will go in almost anything. But possibly not custard.

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H: 'I don't have any tinned tomatoes, I've got tomato passata? ??'

'Yep. Same difference. I forgot what I ordered....'

H: 'Ah okay'

'Just slosh a bit of water into the box instead of the tin'

H: 'What pan do I use'

H: 'What size*

'Whatever you've got - I couldn't remember. Go with the biggest.'

H: 'K!'

H: 'I forgot the egg!!! It's all in the sauce now oh man'

'Ok don't panic'

'Turn the heat really low'

'You don't want the meatballs clattering about'

H: 'Okay'

'It might be ok'

H: 'I guess we'll just have to try this one again'

'Well at the worst it's Bog Sauce and Rice :)'

'Keep taking photos, it's all FINE'

'If you shake the pan, do it very very gently x'

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H: 'I've already finished!'

'Oh my that looks OK!! How does it taste?'

'Do you have actual balls (sorry fnar)'

H: 'It's a bit hot at the moment haha'

H: 'It tastes great! I put the parmesan on top cause I missed that step with the egg, but they are fine. They're quite soft though hahah'

'Well they are supposed to be soft. Nicer that way :) '

H: 'Yup!'

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Well done H. Really well done. Top nerd.

We are a mother and daughter now living 300 miles apart. One is living alone with two cats, one dog and is a photographer, the other is living the high life and studying animation at University. I leave you to decide which is which... This blog idea was born after many conversations which mainly consisted of 'Please don't live on Pasta N Sauce for three years' and 'Well what am I supposed to cook?'

So now she has no choice but to learn a few things long distance - via text, email and the odd photograph. We agreed that we wouldn't use the phone because, well, that would be a very dull blog indeed. It will test my recipe writing abilities and how clear my instructions are and it will test her ability to follow said instructions and take moody food shots on her phone.

I hope you enjoy this 'journey' - I'm hoping it will be fun, informative and possibly even helpful occasionally.

And that campylobacter doesn't feature. Obviously.

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All the photographs on this blog are taken by us. Please respect this and ask for permission if you would like to use them elsewhere. 

Thank you.